Signs of an Abusive Relationship and a way out
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” JK ROWLING, Harry Potter and the Order Of The Phoenix (2003)
Love must start…
Compatibility is the key of a good and everlasting companionship. Coexisting in harmony is a sign to level up a deeper relationship. Marrying someone is the result of love for one another.
In this Generation Z, many married couples are prone to divorce due to infidelity, money issues, and the like. Is it true that they are falling out of love? What is the root cause of the problem? What are the signs? Is there a way out? How to manage from a toxic relationship to a healthy relationship? Does LOVE REALLY HURT?
Indifference is negligence of interest to care for someone else. You no longer want to sacrifice for the sake of others. It creates an incalculable, intangible pain that destroys someone’s heart for a long period of time. Carelessness ruins. Desolation follows.
Here are some nasty signs of an Abusive Relationship that couples undergo when they get bored and stressed:
Manipulating
It is a behaviour of controlling someone’s actions and emotions using deceitful tactics in order to get what they want. You are being forced to do something because they will put a “guilt” inside of you.
Dealing with a puppeteer/manipulator is dangerous because they exploit you whether it be financially, emotionally, socially etc
Yelling
Raising of voice is an indication of anger directly or indirectly to someone whom you can easily defeat. It is barking at the wrong tree.
People commonly use shouting as a gateway to release tension and stress. It is normal to shout occasionally but regular disagreements intensified in shouting turns to be unhealthy.
A bawler instills “fear” in his subject to condition the victim’s mind to bow down in his supremacy over him or her.
Bullying
They use derogatory names to insult and tease their partner. This leads to physical bullying like hitting, pushing, kicking etc. They may also vandalize other important things, ruining, hiding and stealing.
A browbeater masks his self-confidence by inflicting intimidation on a weaker individual.
Threatening
To say that you will harm someone or do something unpleasant or unwanted especially in order to make someone do what you want. : to be something that is likely to cause harm to someone (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
Giving a statement to cause someone to get harmed, lost, endangered and treated roughly.
This type of emotional abuse must take into consideration the possible facts that will happen in the future. Better to keep evidence or records and try to report it to the authorities. Beware of cowing!
Blaming
To pinpoint the fault to someone for something that happened negatively. The blamer usually takes the role of being the victim.
Silent treatment
Avoiding communication is putting an invisible massive barrier to someone. This creates a misunderstanding.
Whatever the reason is,give a chance for communication between both of you and be ready to accept the consequences if it can help.
Giving a cold shoulder for a long period of time will endanger your relationship. Failure to resolve the issues will end the relationship.
Punishment
It is a rough treatment given to someone who committed a mistake. It is a tool to stop you from doing those unacceptable gestures.
The fault-finders will do everything in their power to control you. For example, If you’ve done something wrong, they will cut off your ATM/Master card.
Isolation
You are locked up in the house without anyone knowing. The captor won’t let you go out of the house alone or use gadgets. A captor is very good at acting to be a good person. He is clever.
You must learn the hand signals for domestic violence.
What to do
Being in an abusive relationship, always remember to know your worth as an individual.
Never ever respond with hatred. Try to be calm when talking to the abuser. Don’t allow yourself to be in a heated argument. Use low tone when communicating to the abuser. He/she will cool down as soon as he recognizes that you are submitting to everything he wants you to do.
Always remember NOT TO ADD FUEL TO THE FLAME.
The abuser won’t allow you to use any devices to alarm your family, relatives, friends or the authorities. He will be there by your side if you need to speak with them. Be alert! It is safe to learn the hand signal for domestic violence. Save some evidence that you are being abused by him or her.
If there is a possibility of escaping, you must do it. Run for your life! Never ever look back.
If you are married, it is not that easy to cut off ties with your spouse. Try to resolve it by pleasing him or her. Pray always. Help him to trust you.
If you can’t handle it yourself, please contact a counsellor to help you deal with resolving your issues. There are professional counselors who will assist you to fix your marriage problems @ www.thesolacezone.com
Does love hurt? NO, it does not. Being indifferent and neglecting your special one’s value is the most heartbreaking way that he/she will ever feel. Never make the one you love feel alone especially when you are right there. Put your feet on your spouse’s shoes before doing anything that makes him/her lonely or unsafe.
Don’t ever endanger someone’s life. You do not have the right to make someone’s value lower than yours. Put in mind that we are all imperfect yet we have the same right to live happily.
Mahatma Gandhi states, “Where there is love, there is life.”
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