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SEXUAL ADDICTION AND A WAY OUT

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                SEXUAL ADDICTION AND A WAY OUT                              

Some persons have been battling with sexual addiction and it seems there is no hope or help, most of these persons are ashamed of speaking out, and they die in silence. We have handled so many addiction cases and we go to the point of making them feel better and happy, some who are strongly addicted and they some times need the opposite sex that they can spend the rest of their life with, we help them by linking them to someone with same energy they have, you can get this services by clicking on get professional help for counselling or on this for matchmaking   https://thesolacezone.com/match/

A person with sex addiction may have a compulsive need to be sexually stimulated. This desire often interferes with their ability to live their daily life. Sexual addictions can come in many different forms, including addiction to:

1. Sexual acts

2. Prostitution

3. Watching or consuming pornography

4. Masturbation or sexual fantasy

5. Exhibition or voyeurism

Sex addicts may alter their activities to perform sexual acts persistently, unable to control their behavior despite any consequences.

This compulsive sexual behavior can have serious personal consequences. Like drug or alcohol addiction, sex addiction can impact physical health, mental health, personal relationships, and quality of life.

Sexual addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior disorder, is a condition characterized by an inability to control or manage sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviors. It can have a significant impact on an individual’s life, relationships, and overall well-being.

Here are some approaches that can be helpful in addressing sexual addiction:

Therapy: Seeking therapy from a mental health professional experienced in treating sexual addiction can be beneficial. Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), group therapy, or specialized programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) can help individuals understand the underlying causes of their addiction, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and work towards recovery.

Support groups: Joining a support group, such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), can provide a sense of community and support. These groups offer a safe space to share experiences, gain insights from others facing similar challenges, and receive guidance on the path to recovery.

Establishing boundaries: Setting clear boundaries around sexual behaviors and establishing healthy boundaries in relationships can be crucial. Learning to recognize triggers and developing strategies to manage those triggers can help individuals regain control over their behaviors.

Building a support network: Surrounding oneself with a supportive network of family, friends, or mentors who understand and can provide encouragement during the recovery process is important. Open communication and seeking understanding from loved ones can facilitate the healing process.

Self-care and stress management: Engaging in self-care activities and implementing stress management techniques can be helpful in reducing the risk of relapse. This may include exercise, mindfulness practices, hobbies, and healthy lifestyle choices.

Reducing the number of time you participate on it (suggested by counsellor okafor johnsteve udochukwu after he applied it and it worked for his clients): This approached is best applied with the help of a therapist and anyone who wants to apply it must have self compassion and willing to follow the process and must sacrifice, he or she should bear in mind that it is not going to be easy but it worth trying. You are expected to tell yourself you will be engaging in this act only once a week if it is something you do daily, with the help of a therapist, you will be guided.

It’s important to remember that overcoming sexual addiction is a complex process, and individual experiences may vary. Seeking professional help and support from qualified experts is recommended for a comprehensive approach to recovery.

Some of the information gotten from https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/signs-sex-addict

Stated the following reasons as signs of a sex addict

Signs of a Sex Addict

Sexual addiction can manifest itself in many different ways, both physical and emotional. It takes a healthcare professional to make a clear diagnosis, but here are some signs that can point to a potential sex addiction:

Obsessive Sexual Thoughts

Someone dealing with sex addiction may find themselves thinking persistently about sex. These chronic thoughts of sex or sexual fantasies may become obsessive or interfere with other responsibilities.

Spending Excessive Time on Sex

While seeking out sexual partners isn’t necessarily a sign of sexual addiction, if someone is spending excessive amounts of time and energy on sex, it might be a red flag. This can include spending time attempting to acquire sex, having sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences.

Feeling Shame or Depression

If a need for sex crosses over into an addiction, someone’s sexual feelings might also be interspersed with feelings of anxiety, shame, depression, or regret. The individual may feel shame about their sexual urges and their difficulty controlling those urge.

They may even show signs of clinical depression or suicide ideation. Research shows that it isn’t uncommon for people who are sexually compulsive to also show signs of depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. One study found that, among sexually compulsive men, 28% showed signs of depression, compared to 12% of the general population.

Excluding Other Activities

A sex addict may fixate on sex to the point where they have difficulty engaging in their other activities. They may fall behind on responsibilities in school, work, or their personal lives or become socially withdrawn. They may also prioritize sexual behavior over other forms of relaxation or hobbies. Relationships with friends, families, and partners may suffer because of this.

Masturbating Excessively

While masturbation can be a healthy way to explore sexuality and express sexual drive, excessive masturbation can be a sign of sexual addiction. This might look like compulsive masturbation, masturbation during inappropriate times, or even masturbation to the point of causing physical discomfort or pain.

Engaging in Risky or Inappropriate Behaviors

In some cases, sexual addiction can lead to inappropriate and/or risky sexual behaviors. This can include exhibitionism, public sex, sex without protection, and sex with prostitutes.

In some cases, this can lead someone to develop sexually transmitted diseases. Studies have shown that those who identify as sexually compulsive are more likely to develop sexually transmitted diseases like HIV.

Cheating on Partners

Someone with a sexual addiction may feel compelled to seek out sex with new partners, even if this means cheating on a partner or having an extramarital affair. They may seek out one-night stands on a regular basis or even cheat multiple times with different partners.

Committing Criminal Sex Offenses

In some extreme cases, people may engage in criminal activities like stalking, rape, or child molestation. While some sexual offenders may also be sex addicts, there is no evidence that sexual addiction can lead someone to commit sexual offenses.

Treating Sexual Addiction

Can a sex addict change? Yes, although it may require treatment from a medical professional like a psychologist, psychiatrist, or sex therapist.

Depending on the underlying cause and how it manifests in someone’s personal life, treatment may vary. If the sex addiction presents alongside another underlying anxiety disorder or mood disorder, the treatment plan may also include medications.

Forms of treatment can include:

One-on-one therapy with a mental health professional

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

 Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)

Psychodynamic therapy

Group therapy

Support groups

Inpatient treatment

Couples counseling or marriage counseling

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SEX AND THERAPY volume 1

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SEX AND THERAPY

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Introduction.

When we feel good about ourselves, we’re likely to want to engage in partnered
sex more frequently.
Some people may experience a boost in libido if they find themselves in a
sexual relationship that’s more enjoyable than their past ones.

People engaged in masturbation because they are informed sexually by their
peers, what they see or hear, (they know a lot about sex and the sex urge is
coming up) and because they are not opportune to have sex with the other
gender or because they are responding to the urge by touching their genital
part, or in a place they are being restricted, scared of asking for sex or have
been influenced negatively.

Educating them on the need to abstain from sex before marriage, presenting STD and Early pregnancy as the consequences by way of informing them without proper guidance and bringing to their notice the other consequences of abstaining which is, masturbation and same sex engagement, an alternative another act of sex
satisfaction because, the urge will always be there.
Most adolescents learnt everything by
themselves or someone close to them. So trying to make them stop without proper guidance will be very
difficult or lead to another sex Orientation, this is where the need for comprehensive sex education comes in.
Educating the adolescence on the need to either abstain or use contraceptives.
The issue of molestation, romance, sex and other sexual activities among
adolescence in secondary school due to high sex drive, changes in body, peer
pressure, sex orientation gotten from media, peer or social interaction and
other sources together with how an adolescence can control or curtail it, is
what we should deeply look into.
Any behavior that is learnt by an individual can also be unlearn by the same
individual, it is left for the counsellor or individual to know how it started and
introduce new knowledge, alternatives or something he or she can unlearn
that behavior with.
Your sex drive might be higher than usual because you’re experiencing less
stress, in a healthy relationship or in an environment where you are so free
and have access to sexual information or display that can trigger the urge.

First time having sexual urge.
When teens are approximately 12-13 years of age, they begin to show a general interest in sexual topics. Youth may try to satisfy their curiosity by reading information about sex, and viewing images with a sexual content.

This may include drawings in anatomy books, photographs of naked people, images of
animal sexual behavior, and pornographic materials.

Youth can readily find these images at the library, in an older sibling’s biology text book, watching
certain television programs, viewing adult magazines, or searching on the internet.

Some youth may attempt to satisfy their curiosity by “peeping;” i.e.,
to secretly observe people when they are naked such as when they are bathing or changing clothes, some can even try to raise the skirts of sleeping opposite gender just to see the nakedness of the person.

It is normal for youth to want
to avoid the embarrassment of being discovered doing any of these things so they may attempt to deny or conceal what they are doing.
During early adolescence boys will experience frequent erections since this is
the normal response of the male body to sexual excitement.

Erections can also occur spontaneously for no apparent reason at all as boys’ bodies adjust to the
extreme chemical and hormonal changes initiated during puberty. Similarly,
girls may find they produce vaginal secretions for no apparent reason, even when they’re not menstruating.

Sometimes, these secretions are caused by
sexual arousal, but increased vaginal secretions can also be caused by normal hormonal fluctuations during their monthly cycle.
By ages 13-14 years, guys will have a more obvious interest in sex than girls do,
but girls are interested in sex as well.

Guys will have even more frequent
erections at this age. It’s quite normal for guys to experiment with their
erections and their sexual arousal through masturbation.

Because sexual pleasure is a new experience, boys may want to masturbate quite frequently.
Since indicators of girls’ sexual arousal are not as overtly obvious as boys’
erections, girls may not masturbate as frequently because they may be less
aware of their sexual arousal.
Although sexual behavior is usually limited to masturbation at this age, both
guys and girls may start to experiment with sexual arousal through flirting,
hugging, and playfully hitting or tickling other youth they are romantically
interested in.

They may also start kissing or “making out” with other teens.
This may occur between two teens in private or it may occur in the context of a
larger group, such as a party, where youth might play a kissing like spin the-bottle and truth or dare.
Youth at this age may also begin to experiment with vocalizing their sexual
thoughts when they are with other teens and may begin telling sexual joke and others.

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Okafor Johnsteve udochukwu

Filed Under: Sex

How healthy is masturbation.

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My story

Masturbation

my name is Joshua
It was 6:30am in the morning when the urge for sex was all over me, i have had sex only once and the memories keep playing in my mind, i was alone, really need to get over all these but couldn’t, had to open my phone and search about stuff that was in my head, i started seeing things that i haven’t seen before.

The information i got from the internet made me to start rubbing my dick with my hands, jerking it and doing all sort of things to the point i saw myself releasing semen, it was a good feeling even though i pittied myself after doing it.

Few days later, i had the same urge and i was tempted to do the exact thing i did before, i never knew i was about entering into the world of addiction, it was just for the satisfaction i said to myself, it is best so that i will not contact STD or get any woman Pregnant at this early stage, so many things was on my head that encouraged me to do it. I did it ,i keep on repeating this same activities until i can’t stay a day without masturbating for like five to six times.

It got all over me, i discovered i am addicted to it and i needed help, alot of things that happened as a result of that which includes, not lasting long on bed when having sex with women, discoverd my weight is gone, my desire for sex always comes up at a glance or any trigger and i have no self control, lost my self confidence and so many others.

One day i decided to get help and this decision came when i was caught masturbating in a public place, never knew what i was doing until i was seen by a friend, thank God it was only her that saw me, she advised me to get help, he recommended i seek for a counselor from Confidants Solace Zone, i am happy i listened,i am a better me now.

Counseling and therapy helped me, my counselor lead me through the healing process, it was not easy but i overcomed it and my sexual life is balanced.

Everyone has different reasons of being addicted to something and many think it is the end, with my experience, i am boldly telling you, there is help, just seek for professional help from Confidants Solace Zone and get help.

About Masturbation.

Masturbation is when an individual stimulates their genitals for sexual pleasure, which may or may not lead to orgasm. Masturbation is common among men and women

Masturbation a natural and safe way to explore your body, feel pleasure, and release built-up sexual tension. It occurs among people of all backgrounds, genders, and races.

In fact, one study in older adults estimated that between 27 to 40 percentTrusted Source of women and 41 to 65 percent of men reported masturbating within the past month.
Despite the myths, there are actually no physically harmful side effects of masturbation.
Sometimes, excessive or compulsive masturbation may be considered harmful or lead to other mental health concerns.

Typically, masturbation is a fun, natural, and healthy act.
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Sex with my teacher.

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Sex with my teacher.

(Sex Education)

My name is Gloria and I was 15 years old as at the time of this incident. I was staying with someone who took me as a house help, though they gave me the opportunity of going to school.

Every morning I had to wake up early, clean the house, help my madam in the kitchen, help in preparing her children for school, and also run errands after school.

It was not an easy task but I had no choice. I was born into a poor family where we had to struggle to eat, so being here with my madam and oga was a blessing and a relief to my parents.

My oga and madam were nice to me but the house chores given to me got me tired most of the time. It was way tedious than what someone of my age could do and I was not actually free with them as a result of that I found it really difficult to tell them about anything bothering me and this made me crave for someone to talk to.

At my school, we had more of male teachers than female teachers and most of our female teachers were not friendly, they only focused on teaching, assignments, flogging etc.

I was in Ss1 class and there was this particular male teacher who was really caring, he liked sending me on errands at school and he liked buying things for me, I became too close to him that I tell him almost everything, he was the reason I enjoyed going to school.

One day after school,he told me to come see his place since I was his friend and he was like an uncle to me.
I accepted since I had no negative expectations of him.
He took me to his house at about 1pm and school was to close by 2pm, he did that so that I could be able to go back to my oga’s house on time.

At his house, he gave me drink and asked me to sit on his legs that he wanted us to talk like good friends.
I sat on his legs and he was telling me all the beautiful things in the world, I felt it was beautiful because it was coming from a mature mind. I noticed his hands were going through my laps, opening my skirt to the point of touching my pants.

I was uncomfortable, I called him uncle, he removed his hands and was still talking to me, he was acting like he wasn’t aware of where his hand was going.

He asked me to show him my breast, I didn’t because I was not cormfortable with it. At this point I told him that the time was almost 2pm and I needed to go home so that my madam will not start looking for me.

He said that’s true and asked me to hug him and kiss him, I told him I couldn’t kiss him that it wasn’t right but he said it’s a way of telling someone you really care and appreciate them, his words were convincing, that I believed that it was not a bad thing after all. I accepted, I hugged him and kissed him, it was during the kissing that he held me and carried me up to his bed, and his strength was more than mine,I was screaming and crying for help but no one came ,he disvirgined me.

I was in tears, I couldn’t walk, he was begging me and he helped me to wash myself and was telling me that he really care,that I should not tell my oga, I stayed for awhile because I couldn’t walk.

When I got home, my madam asked me what kept me at school, I lied to her saying that my teacher kept us late to finish up a note. They were not observant about my abnormal steps or my red eyes or my sad face. She asked me to help her prepare food in the kitchen which I did.

The next day I was scared of going to school, but I couldn’t skip because my madam will ask questions. When I got to school, I avoided my teacher like a plague, I was full of many thoughts, I regretted going to his house,I hated him and I couldn’t help myself.

If I had any knowledge on how sexual abuse and rape occured I wouldn’t have fallen a victim of this, I was living a life of regret.

It was when I turned 19 years old, that I was fortunate enough to meet a Counselor from Confidants Solace Zone that I started having a rethink about men and the pieces of my life are coming back to a positive shape.

Sex Education is really important and should be taught in schools and every school needs a counselor.

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How Does Sex Affect Your Mental Health??

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Masturbation can improve mental health/self-esteem

BDSM correlates with mental health

Depression can decrease your sex drive

OCD can correlate with hyper-sexuality

Casual sex can impact your mental health

Sex can ease depressive symptoms

Sex can ease anxiety symptoms

______________

Sex and mental health   a rich topic because of how directly correlated they are to each other. We see articles one day touting how sex can improve our mental health, claiming regular sex to be the cure for everything from depression to diabetes. And then the next day, seeing articles warning against sex destroying our mental health, calling too much sex taxing on our bodies and our minds.

It’s a topic often discussed because both sex and mental health are such personal topics to the individual. They are still considered taboo areas of conversation and are still not often discussed openly and honestly amongst friends or family. But we will all at some point experience sex and how it will impact our mental health. Whether the impact is negatively or positively felt depends on how much we understand the relationship we have with sex. And to understand this relationship, here are seven different ways sex and mental health relate to each other!

1. Masturbation can improve mental health/self-esteem

Masturbation is still a taboo topic. We can see just how taboo it still is by seeing how controversial it is to discuss masturbation in sex education classes for students. And yet masturbation is not only a normal part of our sex drives, it is also a healthy manifestation of it. Masturbation helps release stress, allows us to get in touch with our bodies, and to feel pleasure without any risk of disease or pregnancy.

For women in particular, studies have shown masturbation encourages body acceptance and fosters a more open mindset for new experiences. Girls who are shamed for seeking sexual pleasure on their own grow up into women who are too shy and uncomfortable with their own bodies to explore themselves sexually. The more comfortable women feel in their own bodies, the better they can advocate for those bodies. They can better communicate to their partners what they like or don’t like in the bedroom. Masturbation helps women get to know their bodies at a literally more intimate level, helping them feel more comfortable in themselves, which in turn also makes them better partners.

2. BDSM correlates with mental health

Gone are the old days of people classifying BDSM as some kind of sexual deviancy that could point to some kind of mental disorder. BDSM has become downright mainstream, being featured prominently in movies and TV shows. But it’s not just the relaxing of social norms that has allowed BDSM to take a more central spot in the world’s sexual stage. The understanding of BDSM and its participants has broadened and deepened over the years.

In a study released by the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the fundamental psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners were compared against a control group. The results were quite surprising.

BDSM practitioners were shown to be less neurotic than their control group counterparts. They were more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, and had higher subjective well-being.

A large part of these qualities come from the very nature of participating in a respectful and responsible BDSM scenario. BDSM can be dangerous if partners are not upfront and honest about their boundaries and desires. In a responsible BDSM setting, each partner must communicate clearly and develop a sense of trust before they engage in any sexual activity. This fosters a sense of openness and honesty much faster than perhaps is found in traditional, ‘vanilla’ scenarios.

3. Depression can decrease your sex drive

Depression is a condition that can affect every aspect of your life. From how you eat to how you sleep to how your sex drive functions, depression is known for throwing everything out of whack. Studies have shown a loss of libido in 25%-75% of depressed patients, with its prevalence being correlated with the severity of depression. Disorders of arousal also appear to be common amongst both men and women with approximately 25% of depressed patients reporting problems with erections or lubrications.

But it’s not just depression itself that can decrease sex drive. Often, a side effect of antidepressant medication is a decrease in sex drive. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors are the most widely prescribed medication and have significant effects on arousal and orgasm. This decrease in sex drive is often the leading reason for premature discontinuation of drug treatment for many patients. But more varied options are coming out now. There are many antidepressant drugs that are being released that instead target norepinephrine, dopamine, and melatonin systems which cause less sexual dysfunction in patients.

But it’s important to remember, depression isn’t something one can overcome in a night. It is a condition that must be diligently worked through with some kind of combination of medication and talk therapy for several weeks to months. As frustrating as some of the side effects of antidepressants may be, it is important to keep with the regiment your doctor and/or therapist sets for you.

4. OCD can correlate with hyper-sexuality

Compulsive sexual behavior disorder is an impulse-control disorder. CSBD therefore shares clinical features with obsessive-compulsive spectrum disorders and other behavioral addictions (compulsive shopping, pathological gambling, kleptomania, etc). Studies have shown that a substantive number of OCD sufferers also suffered from CSBD. Usually this overlap was found more in men than women with the severity of the OCD correlating with the likelihood of also suffering from CSBD.

Both disorders can be managed with medication and therapy. Through help and support, it can be possible to learn to maintain a healthy and normal sex life even with impulse-control disorders.

5. Casual sex can impact your mental health

If we were to judge casual sex simply based on movies and TV, we’d never come to an ultimate conclusion on whether it was a good or bad thing. In some spaces, it is portrayed as empowering and freeing while on other platforms, it is shown to be something dangerous and damaging. So which is it?

Well, studies have shown that our mindset is what dictates how positive or negative casual sex can be. When people engage in casual sex for autonomous motives (e.g., I want the fun and enjoyment; I want to explore my sexuality), they tend to walk away from the experience happier and with higher signs of self-esteem. But when people engage in casual sex for non-autonomous motives (e.g. I want to please someone else; I want to escape something unpleasant), researchers have found that these people walk away from the encounter with lower self-esteem and signs of depression.

Therefore, agency, or lack thereof, has been found to be one of the most important factors in how casual sex can be interpreted and experienced for a person. So before you go out for that hook up or that fling, make sure that you are in the right headspace and mindset to engage in that act!

6. Sex can ease depressive symptoms

It may seem ironic after learning about the lowering of our sex drives in depressive states but it’s true that sex and intimacy can ease depressive symptoms. In fact, simple physical intimacy–intimate touching without engaging all the way to sex–can help ease depressive symptoms.

When we are depressed, we are at a chemical imbalance that leads to low moods. Studies have shown that physical intimacy can help, if just temporarily, spike up our serotonin and oxytocin levels. And the greater the relational intimacy, the better it can also help any sexual dysfunction we might be experiencing due to depression as well.

Science is essentially backing up what therapists have been telling their patients–you don’t have to do this alone. Let the people around you help.

7. Sex can ease anxiety symptoms

Just like sex can help with depressive symptoms, sex can also help with anxiety symptoms. Not only does sex increase our serotonin levels, sex can also help lower cortisol levels, our stress hormone. It also releases the hormone prolactin which is what makes us relaxed and sleepy after sex. Anxiety is our body just running on adrenaline and stress. Sex can help us unpack that energy, letting our body release the tension and stress in a fun and enjoyable way!

Sex is a deeply intimate, personal, and primal need in all of us. But so is our search for balanced mental health. We are all trying to figure ourselves out, understand our moods and our anxieties. Sex and mental health are intrinsically linked and the better we understand how they are linked, the better we can enjoy healthier, happier sex and mental states!

Sources@ DAILYWELLNESS

Citations:

1. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258181844_The_Use_of_Self-Pleasure_Masturbation_and_Body_Image_Among_African_American_and_European_American_Women

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31155389

2.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23679066
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18331257
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27235283
https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12192

3.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18450239
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16871134
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19512977
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6278224/

4.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31079471
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15714189

5.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31214905
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/strictly-casual/201402/is-casual-sex-hazardous-your-mental-health

6.

https://journals.lww.com/PSYCHOSOMATICMEDICINE/ABSTRACT/2008/10000/POSITIVE_COUPLE_INTERACTIONS_AND_DAILY_CORTISOL_.7.ASPX
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28583343

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