Why so many single ladies are not yet married.

Have you seen a happy depressed person, someone who is passing through alot and yet smile out loud,play alot and do as if nothing is happening.

This set of people tries to be strong for the people around them,they don’t want to be pitied or called a loser.
Their outburst is very dangerous,most times it is good to be human,cry if you want to cry, shout,be scared and do anything that is normal for anyone that is emotionally hurt because it is a process of healing, don’t hold yourself trying to be strong,speak out.

Being strong doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak out ,it doesn’t mean you are weak when you cry. Suppressing emotions for too long have a negative effects. It’s advicable to talk to a counselor or any matured person you can trust.
Alot of persons in a relationship or marriage undergo this kind of situation,so many single ladies are faced with so much oppression from their peers, the thought of not getting married yet while their friends have and this thoughts brings about bad energy that influences their decision and actions, some die in silence , suppressing feelings and acting like everything is fine but the failed to understand that the only thing that is making not getting married among women looks like a big thing is because, every women has a dream man,the kind of man they want or desire.
If it’s just to get married, many single women would have gotten married even as second or third wife.some because of how they see marriage,rush into it to feel accomplished but on the long run wished they were single.That she is single doesn’t mean no man is coming for her,she is either working to get herself ready in all round ,have not seen the kind of man she wants or that she doesn’t even know what she wants or not doing the right thing.

It is best one talks to a counselor in this kind of situation for the sake of their mental health.

How To Get Over A Breakup.

Heartbreak!!!

Before you think of not reading through just know that there are people you may need to teach or support when they are heartbroken.
😢😭😭😭😭

More than an average of persons in a relationship have been heartbroken before.

It looks like a virus,if you have not experience this ,you will.

Most times,break ups comes with reconciliation, understanding of ones partner and sometimes it is a goodbye to the one we really care.

The effects of breakups has a major role to play in our new or future relationship and it may be good or bad, above all,it is always a lesson but one need to be careful not to repeat same mistake and also to know that we are different.

The feeling that comes as a result of heartbreaks can lead to depression, suicidal thoughts, moodswings etc and that is why it is advisable to seek help from professional Counselors, alot of persons maybe wondering how to get access to a professional Counselor at cheaper amount, you can by, logging to
www.thesolacezone.com
Or call 08169339653

I will be discussing on how you can get over heartbreaks.

On a scale of 1 to torturous, getting your heart broken is a solid “absolutely awful.” Most of us have been there at some point, left wondering how to get over a broken heart.

While there’s no surefire way to avoid heartbreak (unless you’re an unfeeling robot, of course), there is a way through it, even if, at the moment, you truly believe you’ll never be happy again.

Here, three experts share advice for how to get over a broken heart.

1. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
   When somebody breaks up with you, you’re going to feel a flood of emotions, says Rebecca Hendrix, LMFT, a psychotherapist in New York City. “It’s a trauma. It’s a shock to your system.” And as with any type of emotional shock, “you want to be really gentle with yourself and you want to allow yourself to feel your feelings,” she says. After all, your feelings are there for a reason—they can help you move through difficult experiences, but only if you release them.

In the days following the breakup, allow yourself to cry and acknowledge that a breakup is like any other type of loss. With loss come five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. “You’re going to go through those in your own way, in your own time,” says Hendrix. And during the process, validate your feelings by saying things like “Why wouldn’t I feel like way?” and “Of course I’m experiencing this emotion.”

2. But don’t become your feelings.
   Though it’s important to express your feelings, it’s also important to stop short of becoming them, says Hendrix. So if you feel sad, let yourself wallow for a certain amount of time—say, an hour. Cry, scream, yell, journal, do whatever you need to do to let your emotions flow freely, she says. But when those 60 minutes are up, stop and move on to something else.
3. Cut off communication with your ex.
   There’s a scientific reason heartbreak hurts so much: You actually go through withdrawal-like symptoms after a breakup because the feel-good hormones you got from your partner are suddenly gone, says Elle Huerta, founder of Mend, an app and online community designed to help people post-breakup. “When your partner is no longer there, you start to crave those feel-good hormones,” she explains. “If you give in to this feeling and see your ex again, you’ll struggle to move forward and find yourself stuck months and maybe even years later.

Cutting off all contact in the beginning is healthy, It allows you to break your attachment to your former partner. That said, there’s no hard-and-fast rule about contacting your ex, she adds. Brief, occasional communication—like “Hey, could we talk for a few minutes? I’m having a hard time with this”—could be okay. Just be cautious that those “innocent check-ins” don’t become a habit. “Every time you talk to them, you open up another energy tie between you, and your goal is to break those energetic ties, not to keep creating them,” says Hendrix.

4. Find a support system.
   Call two or three people you really care about and let them know what you’re going through, says Hendrix: “A lot of people love you and they want to support you, but often they don’t know how because you’re not telling them.”

Opening up to others may bring catharsis in return. “Most everyone has been on the receiving end of a breakup at one time or another, and commiserating with them, sharing experiences, getting counsel, being reminded you’re not alone, can be highly beneficial.

5. Exercise.
   Breaking a sweat may be the last thing you want to do when you’re wallowing, but trust: It can help. “The endorphins produced during exercise will help with the withdrawal symptoms post-breakup, and it also helps you build confidence in yourself,” says Huerta.
6. Remember what sucked.
   A common response post-breakup is to idealize the other person, says Hendrix. And while you don’t want to deny that there were good parts of your relationship, you also don’t want to fixate on them. To find the middle ground, write a list of all the negative aspects of your former partner/relationship and look at it on the reg. “This mental exercise helps counterbalance all the obsessive thinking you will probably be experiencing around what you miss about your ex and why they were so great—even if they weren’t.
7. Take care of yourself.
   All three experts agree that taking care of yourself in the midst of heartbreak is key. Check in with yourself throughout the day and ask: What do I need? says Hendrix. Maybe it’s a healthy salad, maybe it’s a hot bath, maybe it’s a phone call with a friend.

Also, know that feelings of rejection and diminished self-worth could trigger unhealthy responses like over- or undereating or substance abuse, which could lead to a depressive spiral, says Porter. “Exercise, nutrition, and proper sleep will raise the floor on how bad you feel,” he adds.

8. Don’t judge the length of your healing process.
   “Don’t equate the time of healing with the time of your relationship,” says Hendrix. Even “almost relationships” can cause enormous heartbreak, says Huerta.

“A lot of times people are like, ‘Well, I was only with them for six months. Why am I devastated?’” says Hendrix. “Because you fell for them in six months and you’ve gotten super attached and you started spending every day and night together for a while. Your six months is like somebody else’s two years. So whatever you feel, honor that.” In truth, how long it takes to get over an ex depends on a variety of factors, including the narrative you tell yourself.

9. Don’t internalize the breakup.
   In the aftermath of a difficult split, avoid thinking, I’m not good enough—there’s something wrong with me, says Porter. Instead, situate the problem in the relationship (if not in your partner), he says.
10. Identify and eliminate unhealthy behaviors.
    Try to understand any impulses you may be having, like texting your ex, checking their Instagram every hour, or replaying every damn detail of your last weekend together. These urges are part of the natural withdrawal process that happens after heartbreak, but don’t let yourself overindulge in obsessive behaviors (like analyzing every aspect of your relationship until 4 a.m.), says Hendrix. If you find yourself spending significant time in this frame of mind, it might be wise to reach out to a coach or therapist for support.
11. Be intentional about your happiness.

If all you want is to be happy,you have to be intentional about it, says Johnsteve, hiring a counselor can help you through this healing process.

Confidants Solace Zone.