The Solace Zone

SEXUAL ADDICTION AND A WAY OUT

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                SEXUAL ADDICTION AND A WAY OUT                              

Some persons have been battling with sexual addiction and it seems there is no hope or help, most of these persons are ashamed of speaking out, and they die in silence. We have handled so many addiction cases and we go to the point of making them feel better and happy, some who are strongly addicted and they some times need the opposite sex that they can spend the rest of their life with, we help them by linking them to someone with same energy they have, you can get this services by clicking on get professional help for counselling or on this for matchmaking   https://thesolacezone.com/match/

A person with sex addiction may have a compulsive need to be sexually stimulated. This desire often interferes with their ability to live their daily life. Sexual addictions can come in many different forms, including addiction to:

1. Sexual acts

2. Prostitution

3. Watching or consuming pornography

4. Masturbation or sexual fantasy

5. Exhibition or voyeurism

Sex addicts may alter their activities to perform sexual acts persistently, unable to control their behavior despite any consequences.

This compulsive sexual behavior can have serious personal consequences. Like drug or alcohol addiction, sex addiction can impact physical health, mental health, personal relationships, and quality of life.

Sexual addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior disorder, is a condition characterized by an inability to control or manage sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviors. It can have a significant impact on an individual’s life, relationships, and overall well-being.

Here are some approaches that can be helpful in addressing sexual addiction:

Therapy: Seeking therapy from a mental health professional experienced in treating sexual addiction can be beneficial. Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), group therapy, or specialized programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) can help individuals understand the underlying causes of their addiction, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and work towards recovery.

Support groups: Joining a support group, such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), can provide a sense of community and support. These groups offer a safe space to share experiences, gain insights from others facing similar challenges, and receive guidance on the path to recovery.

Establishing boundaries: Setting clear boundaries around sexual behaviors and establishing healthy boundaries in relationships can be crucial. Learning to recognize triggers and developing strategies to manage those triggers can help individuals regain control over their behaviors.

Building a support network: Surrounding oneself with a supportive network of family, friends, or mentors who understand and can provide encouragement during the recovery process is important. Open communication and seeking understanding from loved ones can facilitate the healing process.

Self-care and stress management: Engaging in self-care activities and implementing stress management techniques can be helpful in reducing the risk of relapse. This may include exercise, mindfulness practices, hobbies, and healthy lifestyle choices.

Reducing the number of time you participate on it (suggested by counsellor okafor johnsteve udochukwu after he applied it and it worked for his clients): This approached is best applied with the help of a therapist and anyone who wants to apply it must have self compassion and willing to follow the process and must sacrifice, he or she should bear in mind that it is not going to be easy but it worth trying. You are expected to tell yourself you will be engaging in this act only once a week if it is something you do daily, with the help of a therapist, you will be guided.

It’s important to remember that overcoming sexual addiction is a complex process, and individual experiences may vary. Seeking professional help and support from qualified experts is recommended for a comprehensive approach to recovery.

Some of the information gotten from https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/signs-sex-addict

Stated the following reasons as signs of a sex addict

Signs of a Sex Addict

Sexual addiction can manifest itself in many different ways, both physical and emotional. It takes a healthcare professional to make a clear diagnosis, but here are some signs that can point to a potential sex addiction:

Obsessive Sexual Thoughts

Someone dealing with sex addiction may find themselves thinking persistently about sex. These chronic thoughts of sex or sexual fantasies may become obsessive or interfere with other responsibilities.

Spending Excessive Time on Sex

While seeking out sexual partners isn’t necessarily a sign of sexual addiction, if someone is spending excessive amounts of time and energy on sex, it might be a red flag. This can include spending time attempting to acquire sex, having sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences.

Feeling Shame or Depression

If a need for sex crosses over into an addiction, someone’s sexual feelings might also be interspersed with feelings of anxiety, shame, depression, or regret. The individual may feel shame about their sexual urges and their difficulty controlling those urge.

They may even show signs of clinical depression or suicide ideation. Research shows that it isn’t uncommon for people who are sexually compulsive to also show signs of depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. One study found that, among sexually compulsive men, 28% showed signs of depression, compared to 12% of the general population.

Excluding Other Activities

A sex addict may fixate on sex to the point where they have difficulty engaging in their other activities. They may fall behind on responsibilities in school, work, or their personal lives or become socially withdrawn. They may also prioritize sexual behavior over other forms of relaxation or hobbies. Relationships with friends, families, and partners may suffer because of this.

Masturbating Excessively

While masturbation can be a healthy way to explore sexuality and express sexual drive, excessive masturbation can be a sign of sexual addiction. This might look like compulsive masturbation, masturbation during inappropriate times, or even masturbation to the point of causing physical discomfort or pain.

Engaging in Risky or Inappropriate Behaviors

In some cases, sexual addiction can lead to inappropriate and/or risky sexual behaviors. This can include exhibitionism, public sex, sex without protection, and sex with prostitutes.

In some cases, this can lead someone to develop sexually transmitted diseases. Studies have shown that those who identify as sexually compulsive are more likely to develop sexually transmitted diseases like HIV.

Cheating on Partners

Someone with a sexual addiction may feel compelled to seek out sex with new partners, even if this means cheating on a partner or having an extramarital affair. They may seek out one-night stands on a regular basis or even cheat multiple times with different partners.

Committing Criminal Sex Offenses

In some extreme cases, people may engage in criminal activities like stalking, rape, or child molestation. While some sexual offenders may also be sex addicts, there is no evidence that sexual addiction can lead someone to commit sexual offenses.

Treating Sexual Addiction

Can a sex addict change? Yes, although it may require treatment from a medical professional like a psychologist, psychiatrist, or sex therapist.

Depending on the underlying cause and how it manifests in someone’s personal life, treatment may vary. If the sex addiction presents alongside another underlying anxiety disorder or mood disorder, the treatment plan may also include medications.

Forms of treatment can include:

One-on-one therapy with a mental health professional

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

 Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)

Psychodynamic therapy

Group therapy

Support groups

Inpatient treatment

Couples counseling or marriage counseling

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Family Counselling and its important.

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WHY IS FAMILY COUNSELING IMPORTANT?

Firstly, the importance of Counseling can’t be over emphasized, it’s important extends to every spheres of Life. But then, today we’ll be dealing on the importance of Family Counseling.

In other to build an atmosphere of clarity, it’s important to understand what Family Counseling is all about. Family Counseling is a method to develop and maintain healthy and functional family relationships.
According to the family system theory, it’s vital to note that, changes in one Family member will influence changes in other parts of the family ( and this can be positively or negatively).

Hence, Family Counseling or family therapy aims to address Psychological, behavioural and emotional issues that causes family problems. Yeah, there are so many things that go on within the wall of a family and family Counseling is a sure guide out of it.

There are different forms of family therapy, different family problems may require specific types of Counseling.
briefly, let’s discuss some few types of Family Counseling.

some Family Counselors offers home visit or online sessions. These could provide families with More Comfort than office based meetings. However, other families may prefer Counseling outside of the home environment.
They are several types of Family Counseling

💥 FUNCTIONAL FAMILY THERAPY: This typically focuses on families with a child or an adolescent with complex emotional or behavioral problems.
it helps families learn strategies to deal with the child’s behaviour and improve family functioning.

💥 BRIEF STRATEGIC FAMILY THERAPY: it aims to change the patterns of interactions between family members.

💥 STRUCTURAL THERAPY: it manages problems that arise due to the family structure, it aim to achieve a functioning and balanced family hierarchy with appropriate boundaries between members.

💥 MULTI-SYSTEMIC THERAPY: This aims to address any behavioral and emotional problems of children and adolescent.
it also focuses on broader issues with the child’s behaviour.

💥 TRAN-GENERATIONAL THERAPY: This involves the therapist examining interactions across generations, the aim is to understand how past responses to challenges influences the family’s current interactions or problems.
it’s very useful when issues and behaviours patterns persist across generations.

one is eager to know, if family Counseling is for everyone, well, family Counseling or therapy may not be for everyone, it may be for those who want to improve family relationships or treat mental health conditions from a family system’s perspective.

oops, someone is already asking, how can I get a family Counselor 😔?
well, Ask no more, cause THE CONFIDANTS SOLACE ZONE, where a group of concerned professional counsellors and volunteers who are into online and physical Counselling, outreach and humanitarian services. They work with different helping professions for clients referral, they have been known for helping the less privileged, depressed, suicidal, community service and other Psychological or mental issues at it’s early stage.

We organize counselling camps for groups and individuals who are at the edge of their mind. Sensitization of the public and individuals on the need for counseling, mental health awareness, speaking out and curtailing the rate of abuse, suicide, affective disorder ,sex related issues and other minor/major psychological issues that may be as a result of stress, past experience, rape, guilt, unhappy marriage or relationship, vocational or occupational issues, educational problems and addiction.

If at the end you feel better and are happy, then we are satisfied.

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MINDFULNESS

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MINDFULNESS
According to the publication made on healthdirect website @ healthdirect.gov.au
Mindfulness is paying full attention to what is going on in you and outside you, moment by moment, without judgment. It means you observe your thoughts, feelings, and the sensations of taste, touch, smell, sight and sound. You are also fully aware of your surroundings.
Mindfulness involves paying attention to what is going on inside and outside ourselves, moment by moment.
It’s easy to stop noticing the world around us. It’s also easy to lose touch with the way our bodies are feeling and to end up living “in our heads” – caught up in our thoughts without stopping to notice how those thoughts are driving our emotions and behavior.
Mindfulness does not try to quiet your mind or control your experience — you just observe what is happening in the moment.
However, anyone can practice mindfulness to improve their self-awareness
One of the Program for Ignatian Mindfulness, framed by the Ignatian charisms of care of the whole person and people for others and with others, the Program for Ignatian Mindfulness unites the concepts of mindfulness and discernment. Saint Ignatius calls us to surrender to more fully receive love and grace. The three pillars of the program are:
Pause: Creating a space without judgments or attachments to appreciate the whole person
Presence: Bringing attention to the moment by noticing one’s thoughts and surroundings
Peace: Imagining empathy, and compassion for self and others through contemplation and wellbeing.
Mindfulness promotes meditation, even though these two terms have their similarities, we should cover what separates them.

Mindfulness requires us to be aware of what’s around us and how our bodies feel. Meditation is a practice that reels in our thoughts to calm the mind
According to Sofia Carozza on one of his articles titled Catholic Schools and the Values of Mindfulness, mindfulness meditations typically involve sitting calmly and attending to the breath—not fighting one’s thoughts, but simply drawing one’s attention back to the present moment.
Catholic schools, whose highest task is to open the souls of their students to the life of God, have an urgent responsibility to offer a positive and coherent account of reality, as well as the means to learn it. When this is absent, the young person is vulnerable to implicit formation in the metaphysical worldviews that underlie the popular practices of the time. Such is the case with the mindfulness movement, whose uncritical embrace can produce three devastating losses in the life of a student.

The first loss incurred by the uncritical practice of mindfulness is the weakening of judgment.

The baseline cognitive state of most human beings is a mental chatter that includes not just observations but conclusions about the meaning and value of what one thinks and observes. To receive the information and act on it appropriately, one first needs to evaluate the truth and goodness of the thoughts, considering their content and rejecting what is false or worthless. Detached awareness may be a helpful first step toward that end, especially for those whose internal life is agitated or chaotic. But if this awareness remains non-judgmental, the mind and heart are abandoned to the anarchy of the instincts and hampered in their pursuit of the good.
As a student, staff, priest, religious, management, father, mother, aunty, sibling or any status, we really need to be mindful of our life, we shouldn’t wait till something happens just like during the covid 19 pandemic, institutions of all kinds endorsed the practice of “mindfulness” as the antidote to the uncertainty and insecurity it has engendered , it also expected we apply the practice of mindfulness in our environment and this practice will help us to guide our mental health and in guiding our mental health we will be able to think right, feel right.

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Okafor Johnsteve udochukwu

SEX AND THERAPY volume 1

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SEX AND THERAPY

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Introduction.

When we feel good about ourselves, we’re likely to want to engage in partnered
sex more frequently.
Some people may experience a boost in libido if they find themselves in a
sexual relationship that’s more enjoyable than their past ones.

People engaged in masturbation because they are informed sexually by their
peers, what they see or hear, (they know a lot about sex and the sex urge is
coming up) and because they are not opportune to have sex with the other
gender or because they are responding to the urge by touching their genital
part, or in a place they are being restricted, scared of asking for sex or have
been influenced negatively.

Educating them on the need to abstain from sex before marriage, presenting STD and Early pregnancy as the consequences by way of informing them without proper guidance and bringing to their notice the other consequences of abstaining which is, masturbation and same sex engagement, an alternative another act of sex
satisfaction because, the urge will always be there.
Most adolescents learnt everything by
themselves or someone close to them. So trying to make them stop without proper guidance will be very
difficult or lead to another sex Orientation, this is where the need for comprehensive sex education comes in.
Educating the adolescence on the need to either abstain or use contraceptives.
The issue of molestation, romance, sex and other sexual activities among
adolescence in secondary school due to high sex drive, changes in body, peer
pressure, sex orientation gotten from media, peer or social interaction and
other sources together with how an adolescence can control or curtail it, is
what we should deeply look into.
Any behavior that is learnt by an individual can also be unlearn by the same
individual, it is left for the counsellor or individual to know how it started and
introduce new knowledge, alternatives or something he or she can unlearn
that behavior with.
Your sex drive might be higher than usual because you’re experiencing less
stress, in a healthy relationship or in an environment where you are so free
and have access to sexual information or display that can trigger the urge.

First time having sexual urge.
When teens are approximately 12-13 years of age, they begin to show a general interest in sexual topics. Youth may try to satisfy their curiosity by reading information about sex, and viewing images with a sexual content.

This may include drawings in anatomy books, photographs of naked people, images of
animal sexual behavior, and pornographic materials.

Youth can readily find these images at the library, in an older sibling’s biology text book, watching
certain television programs, viewing adult magazines, or searching on the internet.

Some youth may attempt to satisfy their curiosity by “peeping;” i.e.,
to secretly observe people when they are naked such as when they are bathing or changing clothes, some can even try to raise the skirts of sleeping opposite gender just to see the nakedness of the person.

It is normal for youth to want
to avoid the embarrassment of being discovered doing any of these things so they may attempt to deny or conceal what they are doing.
During early adolescence boys will experience frequent erections since this is
the normal response of the male body to sexual excitement.

Erections can also occur spontaneously for no apparent reason at all as boys’ bodies adjust to the
extreme chemical and hormonal changes initiated during puberty. Similarly,
girls may find they produce vaginal secretions for no apparent reason, even when they’re not menstruating.

Sometimes, these secretions are caused by
sexual arousal, but increased vaginal secretions can also be caused by normal hormonal fluctuations during their monthly cycle.
By ages 13-14 years, guys will have a more obvious interest in sex than girls do,
but girls are interested in sex as well.

Guys will have even more frequent
erections at this age. It’s quite normal for guys to experiment with their
erections and their sexual arousal through masturbation.

Because sexual pleasure is a new experience, boys may want to masturbate quite frequently.
Since indicators of girls’ sexual arousal are not as overtly obvious as boys’
erections, girls may not masturbate as frequently because they may be less
aware of their sexual arousal.
Although sexual behavior is usually limited to masturbation at this age, both
guys and girls may start to experiment with sexual arousal through flirting,
hugging, and playfully hitting or tickling other youth they are romantically
interested in.

They may also start kissing or “making out” with other teens.
This may occur between two teens in private or it may occur in the context of a
larger group, such as a party, where youth might play a kissing like spin the-bottle and truth or dare.
Youth at this age may also begin to experiment with vocalizing their sexual
thoughts when they are with other teens and may begin telling sexual joke and others.

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Okafor Johnsteve udochukwu

Filed Under: Sex

Not fulfilling your purpose in life can hinder someone from actualizing his or her purpose.

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Do you know that, you may be the reason why you have not become more than you are now or who you desire to be.

It maybe that you have not actualize a purpose, everyone has a purpose in this life, let assume you are teacher and your purpose is to Educate and train Medical doctors, engineers, lawyers etc. If you fail to do that, how do you expect those young ones to fulfill their purpose.

you may also think the benefit is just for others not knowing you will benefit also.
The lawyer you trained today may defend you tomorrow, if you don’t actualize your purpose now,you may be the reason why someone have not actualize their purpose.
If you help someone now, that person may help someone else tomorrow and the person will help another person who may in return help you without you knowing that your help to someone brought that opportunity or help.

Discover your purpose and make it happen, someone is really waiting for you, please stop delaying, as you are delaying yourself, you are delaying someone else.
It is true that God can bring someone else to fulfill your purpose because more than one person can have same purpose on earth but not the exact time, if you fail to utilise your time, you may not get it back but if you utilise your time now, you will definitely be happy and you will certainly meets your needs by actualizing your purpose.

Now ask yourself, what’s is your purpose or calling and how can you discover it, the answer to this question is in one of our videos and write up, please follow us on all our handle
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