The Solace Zone

Never knew i will get my confidence back.

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My name is Stephen, my life in the university was a sad one but i thank God for the help i got from confidants Solace Zone.

NEVER KNEW I WILL BE THIS CONFIDENT

This is my story…
Few years back, i found myself swimming in the thought of impossibility, i am the first son in my family but my confidence as a man is beyond average.
I think my lack of confidence was caused by my parents,always shouting at me and never gave me this sense of ‘i can do it alone, i always depend on them to provide and tell me what to do, to the point of having to wait for them to do some things which i should do on my own like every other kids out there.

when i got admitted into the university, my parents took me to school, processed everything, i was the mummy and daddy boy, yes it was love, training and also protection but it really affected my confidence and created these spirit of assumption in me.

I never knew the effect of all their actions until i started staying alone and mingling with other children in the university, i discovered how unsocial i was, always lazy and needed someone to help me do things for me, this mindset affected my studies and social life, i will also tell you that i do visit home almost every weekend and my parents never saw anything bad about it, infact they are the one who want me back during weekends.

something happened both in my academic, love life, social life, financial life and others and i decided to get help through confidants Solace Zone.
www.thesolacezone.com

Assumption and lack of confidence..

There is always a cause for assumption and lack of confidence but there is also help.

Just try and dont just assume, a lot of us failed even before we try because we assume and because we lack confidence.

Our mind have so much role to play in our success, your actions is being guided by our mind and succes is derived when you put to action all the ideas and plans you have.

why not ask or try it out first and see if what you assumed is right or wrong?
By asking and trying, you will get the facts that will help you do things rightly without mistakes.

Do you know that many intelligent people are limited because they lack confidence and most confident people are limited because they assume too.

Assumption and lack of confidence have a role to play for our success in life.
Think about this and don’t forget to comment your feelings, share , follow us and subscribe for counselling or consultation if you need any.

Why most people are blinded in their relationship.

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WHY MOST PEOPLE ARE BLINDED EMOTIONALLY IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

This is not your regular, you will get pregnant or contact disease kind of post, this write up has to do with emotional bonding, manipulation and miss priority in relationship.

So right now I hope you would listen.

One of the many reasons why most people get into relationships is just to have sex and money which helps them satisfy their needs or feel belonged.

Yes, you don’t need me to repeat it because you must have heard it time and time again.

This is why someone will tell you they will quit the relationship or won’t agree to date you if you say no sex before marriage or you don’t spend on them.

Let me explain this concept to you.

Love is not sex and Sex or money is not love but it is part of what we can do with people we love and trust with our body but not the determinant of who loves you.

Sex is for the married. Sex is an important part of marriage, not relationships though some active people engage in it to avoid story that touches.

You don’t have sex in marriage just because you love your partner. No.
You have sex because it’s an obligation both of you must carry out for each other but in relationship,it is not an obligation but a choice which the two partner must agree.

Thinking along…

The truth is that premarital sex causes emotional blindness, manipulation and bond of which most people won’t tell you.

How?

For some of you that are sexually active, the minute you say no more sex in this relationship, it will shock you how your partner that claims to love you so much will totally change and if you remove money from relationship you will also be shock what will happen to the relationship.

First, they will contest it, but when they see you are not in for it anymore, then they push for the two other option which is;

  1. Quit the relationship or,
  2. Start cheating by getting the sex or money outside.

Like i always will say, a person that cheats on you because of sex or quits a relationship because of sex or money never loved you.

They love the sex or money more than they say they love you so if you won’t give it to them then it’s over.

Is that what you call love?

If most people that are sexually active or people who lacks financially try this, you will see that a good number of people are in a loveless relationship sustained only by sex and money, and the day they get tired of the sex or find someone that is better than you, then it’s over.

Try it and you will see a lot of persons become single overnight. God, Love, and Sacrifice are meant to help you sustain your relationship but in your case what you are using is sex and money which is perishable.

Sex blinds your emotion to know who loves you and who doesn’t.

That’s why after the sex, you become the one doing the calling, chatting and other things. The relationship start depreciating.

Also, notice that people feel more hurt and used when they break a relationship that sex was involved more than those not sexually active because their head is clear, and they don’t feel used and those who spent their hard earn money and later got heartbroken are hurts too.

Another thing is that when you engage in this premarital sex, and if the sex is good, a good number of people become blind to things they should be aware of. Because it impairs rightful judgment. Sex is connected to a woman’s emotions, that’s why a woman finds it difficult to leave a man who deflowered her or whom she enjoyed sex with even when she’s harshly treated and most are very much concerned about the benefits which includes money, they neglect the abuses they get and still hold strong to an absuive relationship.

Most relationships should have ended by now because the guy/lady is a liar, a cheat, a violent person, or any other toxic trait you can think of but they won’t quit that relationship because the sex and money is good, like marriage is only about sex.

Receive wisdom and sense today. Don’t end up having a bad marriage because you allowed sex and money to prevent you from making the right judgment about who loves you or not.

Creat another value outside sex and money,be a problem solver, contribute and explore together.

Don’t go into a relationship because you are lonely,in need of money,in need of sex or because you want to belong.

I am Okafor Johnsteve Udochukwu,the man who believes that everyone deserves to be happy.

CONFIDANTS SOLACE ZONE

Sex with my teacher.

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Sex with my teacher.

(Sex Education)

My name is Gloria and I was 15 years old as at the time of this incident. I was staying with someone who took me as a house help, though they gave me the opportunity of going to school.

Every morning I had to wake up early, clean the house, help my madam in the kitchen, help in preparing her children for school, and also run errands after school.

It was not an easy task but I had no choice. I was born into a poor family where we had to struggle to eat, so being here with my madam and oga was a blessing and a relief to my parents.

My oga and madam were nice to me but the house chores given to me got me tired most of the time. It was way tedious than what someone of my age could do and I was not actually free with them as a result of that I found it really difficult to tell them about anything bothering me and this made me crave for someone to talk to.

At my school, we had more of male teachers than female teachers and most of our female teachers were not friendly, they only focused on teaching, assignments, flogging etc.

I was in Ss1 class and there was this particular male teacher who was really caring, he liked sending me on errands at school and he liked buying things for me, I became too close to him that I tell him almost everything, he was the reason I enjoyed going to school.

One day after school,he told me to come see his place since I was his friend and he was like an uncle to me.
I accepted since I had no negative expectations of him.
He took me to his house at about 1pm and school was to close by 2pm, he did that so that I could be able to go back to my oga’s house on time.

At his house, he gave me drink and asked me to sit on his legs that he wanted us to talk like good friends.
I sat on his legs and he was telling me all the beautiful things in the world, I felt it was beautiful because it was coming from a mature mind. I noticed his hands were going through my laps, opening my skirt to the point of touching my pants.

I was uncomfortable, I called him uncle, he removed his hands and was still talking to me, he was acting like he wasn’t aware of where his hand was going.

He asked me to show him my breast, I didn’t because I was not cormfortable with it. At this point I told him that the time was almost 2pm and I needed to go home so that my madam will not start looking for me.

He said that’s true and asked me to hug him and kiss him, I told him I couldn’t kiss him that it wasn’t right but he said it’s a way of telling someone you really care and appreciate them, his words were convincing, that I believed that it was not a bad thing after all. I accepted, I hugged him and kissed him, it was during the kissing that he held me and carried me up to his bed, and his strength was more than mine,I was screaming and crying for help but no one came ,he disvirgined me.

I was in tears, I couldn’t walk, he was begging me and he helped me to wash myself and was telling me that he really care,that I should not tell my oga, I stayed for awhile because I couldn’t walk.

When I got home, my madam asked me what kept me at school, I lied to her saying that my teacher kept us late to finish up a note. They were not observant about my abnormal steps or my red eyes or my sad face. She asked me to help her prepare food in the kitchen which I did.

The next day I was scared of going to school, but I couldn’t skip because my madam will ask questions. When I got to school, I avoided my teacher like a plague, I was full of many thoughts, I regretted going to his house,I hated him and I couldn’t help myself.

If I had any knowledge on how sexual abuse and rape occured I wouldn’t have fallen a victim of this, I was living a life of regret.

It was when I turned 19 years old, that I was fortunate enough to meet a Counselor from Confidants Solace Zone that I started having a rethink about men and the pieces of my life are coming back to a positive shape.

Sex Education is really important and should be taught in schools and every school needs a counselor.

www.thesolacezone.com

My anger issue.

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My anger issue.😔

It all happened around 5 in the evening, Mr Kelvin was standing with his little daughter at the front of his gate waiting for a byke to take them to his shop, a mental deteriorated man ran towards him and slapped him and ran off, Mr kelvin never knew the man was having some issues with his mental health,he ran after the man leaving his daughter there.

Mr Kelvin do have anger issues that he react before thinking and little things upset him not to talk of someone slapping him.
He ran after the insane man,as he was running after him,the insane man was pulling up his nyash up to him , mocking him,this got Mr Kelvin more upset,he kept on pursuing him, at a point the insane man ran into the bush, mr kelvin was still after him.
Finally Mr Kelvin got him and beat hell out of him and later realized he was an insane man.

Mr Kelvin left the insane man helpless after beating him and remembered he left his daughter alone at the gate and ran back, getting there, his daughter was no where to be found, he searched different places but couldn’t find her, few hours later, Mr kelvin went to the television and radio stations and made an announcement for the where about of his little daughter.

His wife heard about it and was very angry, she couldn’t believe her husband will be so careless, he tried to explain and his wife told him, “I have warned you about this your anger issues, I asked you to seek for Counselling help from Confidants Solace Zone
@
www.thesolacezone.com
if anything happens to my daughter, i will not take it likely”.
Mr Kelvin cried and hours later, his phone rang and his daughter was found.
Mr Kelvin woke up and it was a dream.

Don’t you think that anger issues can cause more harm to a person? can we help @
www.thesolacezone.com Dr

My story as a homosexual.

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PERMITED TO SHARE
MY STORY AS A HOMOSEXUAL

Few months back, I was disturbed about my sex lifestyle, I felt awkward being rejected by men around, I grew up loving men and having this sexual urge for men especially the fair ones.

People noticed me because the way I walk is feminine, I couldn’t keep it any longer, I became depressed. At work I was isolated and I was lucky that I was not caught in the act, if not I would have been dealt with. Most times I wished I was out of the country, at least in western countries there is freedom of sex orientation and lifestyle without judgment.

At some point, I felt like talking to someone who will keep it a secret without being judgmental, I have actually had sex with five men since I was born but I lost contact with some of them when I got admission.

One day I made a decision of getting help, I went to a pastor who told me it was a demon and he prayed for me and gave me some spiritual assignment which I did, hoping to get better but few days later, I saw a fair handsome guy and I was aroused.
At this point I came to a conclusion with myself that this was beyond just praying so I had to use google to search for a way out, I saw alot of articles but they were not helping me.

I spent so much money in getting goodies for men I liked, I cared for them so as to get their attention, at some point I became weak, I had to talk to one of my friends and asked if she knows any professional therapist that can help a depressed person, I was not too direct because I didn’t want her to start making me feel worse than I was already feeling. She referred me to a website @ www.thesolacezone.com
I logged on to the website, paid a token for session and I received an email for my assigned therapist. The session was online and I had to pay for a month. My session with the therapist was very helpful, I was very plain with the therapist.

The first stage of the session was collection of data from past to my present life, I doubted so much that my past life had a full play in my present situation but my counselor explained and made me understand that it was not my fault.
My cousin (male) who came to our house for holiday when I was little always used my ass as a robbing object for his dick. It continued to a stage when his dick could pierce my ass, my parents were not always around and this occurred several times, he was very caring and I saw nothing wrong in what he was doing. This and many others were my discussion with my therapist, we had many sessions. In summary, for the past two months, I have been having healthy feelings for the opposite sex, my first time of having sex with a woman was not actually enjoyable because the person in question was complaining that I didn’t last long, I had to run back to my therapist for help.

At this period, I was so concerned about how to satisfy a woman as my thinking about having sex with men has changed.

During my session with my counselor about how I can satisfy women, I learnt a lot of things and I was also referred and asked to run some test, I received help.

How I regained my self-esteem with the first girl will be a story for another day.

Thanks @ The confidants solace zone
www.thesolacezone.com

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